Kissable
by princessozmaofoz
Summary: Albert prepares to give a Valentine's Day gift to someone special, but things don't exactly go as planned. Albert/ Mary. COMPLETE.


Kissable

Ordinarily, Albert Hillsborough considered himself a fairly remarkable person. After all, he _was_ the mastermind behind the Great Thanksgiving Feast of The FAYZ. Today, however, Albert was just another young lover, worrying that his Valentine's Day plans would go astray.

He trudged the long path from his small house to the McDonalds and proceeded to the large walk-in freezer. It was completely empty—save for one item on a shelf near the back. When Albert had seen the small, silver packages of Hershey's Kissables sitting on the shelf at Ralph's months earlier, he had immediately seized one, aware that they would disappear far too soon. He had hidden it behind a box of burger patties at the McDonalds, though no one ever joined him behind the counter anyway. Eventually, the burgers ran out, but the chocolate remained. Albert had originally intended to keep it for himself, but then another idea had taken form in his mind.

He had saved the candy in order to give it as a gift to a special someone. Regardless of his noble intentions, Albert had been tempted several times to eat the candy, but the image in his mind of a radiant smile on the face of a living angel had always stopped him from consuming the chocolate. And after a long wait, the day had finally arrived for Albert to give his gift.

He had dressed very carefully today, eventually deciding upon a light v-neck sweater of hunter green and a pair of dark jeans. He wanted to look nice, but realized that anything super fancy might get dirty. The day care was a messy place, and Albert was unsure of how long he was staying. If everything went well, Mary might ask him to come in and talk for a while. How Albert hoped for this reaction as opposed to the other reaction—the one where Mary laughed in his face!

Albert picked up the pack of Kissables and studied it thoughtfully. He wished that he had some flowers to go with it. Roses, maybe: red roses—like Mary's beautiful hair—or yellow ones—like that old, overlarge sweatshirt that she sometimes wore when she was finger-painting with the prees. But nearly all of the flowers had wilted once their faithful gardeners had disappeared suddenly one fateful November morning. So, Albert was left with only the chocolate. He hoped that Mary liked the gift; it was all Albert had to show her how much she meant to him.

Albert walked out of the freezer and removed a card from his pocket. He had made it himself out of a piece of computer paper from a printer that had long ago run out of ink. Albert had drawn a picture on the front. He had not wanted to draw a heart or a cupid—as he thought that was a little too personal—so he had drawn a dog. Girls liked cute animals—or so he had reasoned at the time. Now that Albert looked closely at his illustration, he realized that the dog really wasn't all that "cute" after all. He probably could have drawn a better cat, but after a certain incident in the library, Albert had developed a strong antipathy to cats—real or illustrated.

Ignoring his drawing, Albert grabbed a sheet of receipt paper from one of the cash registers to practice writing his message.

_Dear Mary,_

He studied this sentence before ultimately crossing it out. "Dear" was much too intimate a word.

_Mary,_

That was much better.

_Mary,_

_Sometimes when you smile, I feel like the FAYZ never happened. You make me feel safe, warm, and content._

No, that was horrible: much too direct. He tried again.

_Mary,_

_You are the most incredible person that I have ever known._

No, that was wrong as well. Never mind that it was true. Mary would think that he was trying to suck-up to her.

_Mary,_

_I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me._

No, that was also too direct.

Finally, Albert settled on his message.

_Mary,_

_I thought you might like some chocolate. I hope that all is well at the day care._

Now, it was time to think of how to sign it. "Love" was definitely out, and "your friend" seemed presumptuous as well. He c_ould_ just sign it "Albert," but somehow that seemed too informal. He finally settled on "sincerely" and then transposed his message to his little card, signing his full name at the bottom. Then, he grabbed the Kissables and his now-finished card and set off for the day care.

_Ten Minutes Later_

Mary Terrafino had always hated Valentine's Day. It was one of those holidays that seemed specifically designed to remind her of how pathetic she was—as if Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years weren't enough. She knew that this Valentine's Day would be no different. All around her, young couples would forget the problems of The FAYZ for a moment and simply be glad for a shoulder to lean on through the hard times.

This year was especially difficult. For the first time, Mary had wanted a certain someone to be her Valentine. She had wanted a boyfriend before, of course—someone to make her feel pretty and special. But there hadn't been a specific boy that she had dreamed about—until The FAYZ.

Mary had never expected to fall in love at all, and certainly not with Albert Hillsborough, of all people. When she had imagined her future boyfriend, she had pictured someone tall and dangerous, with large, hypnotic eyes. Albert didn't exactly match that description. He was too short, for one thing—only an inch taller than Mary herself. Albert wasn't exactly dangerous either—with his preppy clothes and his businesslike manner. His eyes were, however, somewhat hypnotic, but they were so frequently obscured by his enormous spectacles.

And yet, there was something remarkable about the former fast-food manager of The FAYZ, something that made Mother Mary's heart skip a beat every time she heard his name.

She shook herself. It was foolish to keep thinking of Albert—especially today of all days. Mary would not be receiving any valentines, especially not valentines from one of the FAYZ's greatest heroes.

She had just finished changing a diaper when John came in.

"Mary, I can take over for a minute. There's someone asking for you at the door."

"Okay," Mary said. She dabbed a bit of sanitizer on her hands and went to greet whoever was at the door. She felt her cheeks grow hot when she recognized her visitor.

Albert. What on earth was he doing here?

Mary ran her fingers frantically through her red curls, trying futilely to tame her wild hair. She looked down at her slightly ragged, yellow sweatshirt with the paint stains on the sleeves, mentally cursing herself for not wearing something more feminine. Not that she could have pulled off anything trendy at her current size.

"Hi," Albert said after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"Hi," Mary replied, all-but-shaking in her nerves.

Albert stared at the ground. Mary wasn't surprised; she knew that she must look a fright. He probably just couldn't bear to look at her ugly face.

"So…um…Happy Valentine's Day," he said finally.

Before Mary could respond, Albert shoved two items into her hands. They were a homemade card and a package of Hershey's Kissables.

Why was Albert giving her this? Was he allergic to chocolate or something? Maybe he was just being charitable or maybe he thought that she wasn't getting enough to eat. Well, he was wrong there; Mary was getting too much to eat.

Another wonderful thought struck Mary. Maybe Albert thought that she was "kissable." Maybe this was Albert's way of conveying his feelings. She had sworn at times that they had chemistry, though she had eventually convinced herself that she was being delusional.

Mary realized, however, that kissing was the last thing on Albert's mind once she opened the card.

_Mary,_

_I thought you might like some chocolate. I hope that all is well at the day care._

_Sincerely,_

_Albert Hillsborough_

Well, that was the end of that. No one ever signed a love letter with "sincerely" or with their full name. Albert was obviously just trying to be nice. He probably had just figured that she would be without valentines and had therefore given her one out of pity.

Mary reread the first line of the note.

_I thought you might like some chocolate._

What was that supposed to mean. Was she really _so_ fat that people believed she thought only of food?

"Thank you, Albert," Mary said eventually. She wanted to ask him to come inside for a minute, but she was sure that he had much more important things to do than talk to her.

"Goodbye."

For a moment, Albert looked almost disappointed. Then, he turned to go.

"Goodbye, Mary."

Mary watched him leave. Then she returned to the main room of the day care. She walked over to her brother.

"John, I think I left something at home. Can you hold down the fort while I go and get it?"

John nodded. Then, Mary set off for the house she shared with John, Astrid, and Little Pete.

Once she'd arrived, she searched until she found some wrapping paper. She wrapped the pack of Kissables and placed an index card with John's name on top of it. She sat this present on the kitchen table. As tempted as Mary was to eat the candy herself, she knew it would be a waste to vomit up Albert's generosity later. It was better that John have the chocolate.

Then, Mary went to her own room and placed Albert's card under her pillow.


End file.
